Who?
by Celina Wood
Summary: Canada is sick of this, he just wants to feel alright! Could it be the only way out is... death?


I felt a slow tear run down my cheek and I looked around me to the others in my family. Alfred was grinning as he tried to get my father, Britain, to play football with him, and Papa, France, was getting in the way with grins and roses. Now back to me, Canada… can you see me? Do you care? Will anyone ever care?

I hugged Kamijiro and buried my face in in his soft fur; I wanted to be asked to play… I'll play with you Alfred. I could hear myself saying him and yet I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't bring myself to waist my breath again.

"I-I'll play… Al…" the words left my mouth and the only one that even seemed to hear was Papa, his eyes flickered with something a bit like recognition. Though if he did hear he didn't do anything, he didn't care ether. My tears seemed to pick up pace, taunting me, I was truly alone wasn't I? I always had been, hadn't I? No one cared.

"Who are you?" Asked the bear I my arms, that was it. I dropped him and ran. Sobs choked me and feelings of loss plagued me, but I ran. I ran, and continued to run until I had made it to the woods and I was alone for real, I was alone, truly alone.

Would they care? Would they even notice? I asked myself with no knowledge of what I was asking myself. What did I mean? My tears continued to fall as my meaning slowly sinking into my pain filled mind, suicide.

Was I strong enough? Would I do it? Would they even notice? These three questions seemed to be asked to me by the trees themselves torturing me, always torturing me, life had no meaning did it? I sat against a tree and cried until I could cry no more ad that is when I made my decision, I was going to die, I would end my pain.

I wiped away my tears and stood with a broken smile, which is how I walked back to the house. My family was now making dinner, fighting the entire time, and they didn't see me. Kamijiro didn't seem to care ether, he seemed happy. I needed something, I walked into the house and looked around for something to use.

A gun was too terrifying, a knife too sharp I wish I wasn't so scared! I dug through drawers and tried to find a murder weapon that didn't make me fearful. While I looked I grabbed papa's wine and took a swig deciding to numb the pain first. Poison, that was it, I would end the pain simply, painlessly, and I would sleep forever.

The pills Father uses to sleep, I knew he was plagued still with dreams of the Revolutionary War, I grabbed the bottle and took a deep breath. I was really going to do this wasn't I? God… what has my life come to?

With slow steps I left the house once more, no longer crying, and still drinking the wine that I held in my grasp. I looked out at my beautiful family and I smiled lovingly, I still cared for them, they were my family, Papa and Father were always there and Al was my brother, how could I not care?

"Will you miss me?" I asked them and they didn't look up, I bit my lip and spoke up. "Do you even care?!" I felt a tear run down my face and the others looked up at me, the all looked confused but Papa seemed to at least know who I was.

"Dude, who are you?" America asked then laughed happily, this was just another game wasn't it?

"Yes, who are you?" Father asked and I choked on a sob, "you seem bloody familiar, are you a new country?" No… I wanted so badly for them to know who I was; I wanted to feel loved for once! Can't we go back to how things were?

"He is Canada, Mon Amour! Can you not see t in 'im? He looks like me, but not as sexy." Papa did know me!

"Shut up you twit! I didn't ask you!" and thus my family forgot me again through fighting. I couldn't take this! My tears began again and I ran yet again the pills curled in my fist making a loud rattling sound reminding me of what I was about to do with each slamming sound of my foot hitting the ground.

Now back in the woods I looked around myself almost as though for an escape. I collapsed and sobbed for a while then lifted the wine and swallowed big burning gulps feeling as though I was swallowing not wine but acid. Then choking I opened the bottle of pills, how many to sleep forever? All of them, one after another I swallowed them crying still then I washed them down with the last sip of wine; this was it, wasn't it?

I lay back against the tree behind me and began to feel the pulls of sleep, I felt sick, what was I doing?! I could have made it; I could have made myself known… I hadn't needed… to… I didn't have to… kill myself…? What was I…? My eyes closed slowly as though heavy and I smiled as I fell asleep.

"Goodnight…" I whispered to the still air around me.

…(We will always remember)…

"Hey, dudes. Remember that guy earlier? Well I figured out who he was!" America grinned and took another burger, he was glad that he had won the fight of the food; they were eating his choice meal hamburgers with chips and salad though the others had made the salad.

"Well, spit it out, Git, who was it?" England was picking at his food feeling strangely… guilty, why did he feel guilt? Did it have something to do with the man from earlier? America reached for the ketchup as he spoke.

"It was Canada dudes, my brother! I had forgotten about him… I wonder why he was crying, whatever. I'll ask him about it later."

_A/N: yeah so... now you know what happens if I wake up at 2 in the morning, I write this stuff... welp, sorry guys._


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